5 steps in dealing with life's disappointments

Life is full of disappointments, most of them are really easy to bounce back from but some of them like to sit and accumulate over time, weighing heavy on our hearts until all we want to do is withdraw and sulk in our disappointment.

I've definitely been there, what hurt the most was having my hopes all the way up to the mountains just to have various life events prevent the fulfillment of my expectations. I grew cold and refused to experience another disappointment.

I started to be reminded of the unfulfilled promises from my childhood and realized that this dated further back than my current situation. The hurt ran deep and the only way I could move forward is to heal from my past and come to the acceptance that I will be disappointed in life but I can't allow it to hinder me from taking risks or shift my focus.

While dealing with my own disappointments I was able to compile 5 steps that helped me combat the side effects of being disappointed. This isn't listed in any particular order but every step is important in my healing process

5 Steps to being healed from disappointments

Step 1. Acknowledge

Acknowledge that there is an issue and that the emotions that are being experienced are affecting your life and your ability to move forward in a particular or even all areas of your life. As stated earlier, how I was feeling kept me from making decisions or taking risks that I believed may lead to another disappointment.

Step 2. Discover

Discover the root of the pain. It's sometimes deeper than what we choose to believe. We experience what seem to be minor occurrences that manifest itself through our actions and responses. My root went all the way back to my childhood. My family didn't have much money so there were many times when I had to sacrifice something I wanted with something I needed. Though I understood the circumstances and willingly obliged, the disappointment still resided. I never let it show to avoid placing guilt on anyone else.

Step 3. Determine

Determine how you respond after being disappointed. There are various outlets and there are no limits to expression. This include but isn't limited to rebellion, sexual promiscuity, isolation, alcohol indulgence, excessive sleeping, overeating, etc. These are self defeating responses and will only make matters worst. The first thing I noticed in me was a cycle where I had no motivation to do anything. I would withdraw from everything and wallow in the disappointment which then lead to me being disappointed in myself for allowing myself to get in that place. I would get encouraged, make a move, then get disappointed again, restarting my cycle. I had to learn to be intentional in responding in a way that developed growth and make a conscious decision to rise above disappointments.

Step 4. Develop

Develop a new perspective. The best way to change your choices is to change your mind. Disappointments when handled accordingly can be a blessing. It provides an opportunity to reevaluate yourself and it motivates new plans, visions, and goals. A disappointment on one path can lead to another path that has much greater rewards. Look at my case, disappointments lead to this blog which may encourage a reader and if something I learned during my process can help someone from going down the same path of self destruction it is definitely worth the reward. Instead of asking "Why Lord?" I've learned to ask "OK, What do you want me to learn Lord?" or "What now Lord?"

Step 5. Find

Find your strength . I find my strength through prayer and knowing that greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. I'm also reminded that with me a lot of things are impossible but with God all things are possible. I find strength, solace, motivation, and encouragement in God's word, the Holy Bible. He has also blessed me by surrounding me with individuals that pushes me and hold me accountable to accomplishing my purpose while on earth.  Disappointments put me in a position to seek God's plan and methods rather than my own, I trust that His ways are better than mine.

If the disappointment didn't kill you then it's just giving you an opportunity to rise above it, Learn from it, and grow through it. With these steps it is my hope we all can experience a freedom from our past and can delight in a brighter future.
#StillSovereign

Supporting Scriptures
Philippians 4:6-7
Jeremiah 29:11
Hebrews 4:14-16
1 John 4:4
Matthew 6:33
Proverbs 2:1-10